It happens every year. You have someone, be it a relative or friend or coworker, who you have to buy a gift for whatever reason (mainly that they bought you one so you have to return the favor) even though you really don’t want to spend money on them. We’ve all been there. With our economy in a total shitcoffin, every penny you spend this Holiday counts.
That’s why I’m here with a list of cheap gifts to get these people who don’t want to buy a gift for.
10- Macaroni Art- You take macaroni and other assorted pastas and glue them onto a piece of paper or a paper towel roll and BOOM, instant art! You can put a special greeting of your liking or you could even do a self portrait. Talk about classy.
9- A Slinky- What walks down stairs, need no motor repairs and makes you look like a genius gift giver? A Slinky, that’s what!
8-A costume of yourself- Take clothes from your closet and put together a quintessential ‘you’ outfit. If you always wear plaid, put in a plaid shirt. If you were Birkenstocks, throw your old ones in a box. Give it to them and present it as a ‘you’ disguise.
7- Old Magazine Subscription- Take all the magazines that you saved from the last year. Deliver one to your person every week when the date on the old magazine states you should. Voila, instant old magazine subscription. (on second thought, this might take a lot of work. I’d say just give them all to them, tell them to sort out the dates)
6- Paper Mache Mask- Take strips of newspaper and glue them together into the form of a mask. Paint it with White out or whatever you got at the house. This is a great gift for someone who’s really really ugly.
5-A Candle- I was once told that you can always get someone a candle. Why? I’m not sure but fuck it, buy ‘em a candle, its cheap.
4-A picture frame with your picture- Get a good photo of yourself, maybe the one from Glamour Shots when you were 14, and frame that bitch up. And don’t waste money on an expensive frame, buy that shit from Goodwill.
3-Old Books- Take some books off the shelf at your house that you hate or never read and wrap them up. Easy, removes clutter from your house and you look intellectual.
2-Fast Food Condiments- Take all the catsup, mustard, BBQ and hot sauce packets from your fridge and junk drawer and arrange them in a basket. Make it look nice, like a cornucopia of condiments.
1-A Poem- Write a really abstract, silly poem and say that you wrote it for the person. Something about monkeys, sun beams, shoeshine and butterflies would work.
I hope that this helps you find a cheap gift. If it didn’t well, then you need to re-read the article again. I’m not writing another 10 gifts, I refuse!
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