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Oh my God! Why God Why?

The Phoenix Suns have traded for Shaquille O’neal, one of the slowest, plodding, oft injured, potentially washed up players in the NBA. Steve Kerr, the Suns GM has essentially given this team a two year ‘all or nothing’ window to get a championship or become a rebuilding team filled with old players.

As I have stated in the past in this blog, I think Shawn Marion should have been traded back in October. He is a terrible malcontent, more worried about his money and his numbers than winning a championship. To me, good riddance bitch. Don’t let the door hit your whiny ass on the way out.

But why trade Marion and his high flying, fast play that fits the Suns run and gun offense for a guy who has a terrible hip problem, an enormous contract and can’t run with the Suns?

I have a couple of justifications for it, even if I don’t necessarily believe them.

1- Shaq can match up against the bigs in the West during the playoffs. Since there are more and more big guys coming to the West (fuck the Lakers and their Pau Gasol trade), they need to find someone to match up. Amare Stoudemire isn’t the answer, as he gets into foul trouble playing at center, when he should be guarding power forwards, if he can guard anyone.

2- Shaq has been faking his injury this year so that he didn’t have to play on the worst team in the NBA. This would make sense considering Shaq plays for the post season and doesn’t give a crap about the regular season. Since the Heat weren’t going to the playoffs, why play at all? I’d sit and collect 20 million a year if I was on that team. Plus, I heard he was in a fight with Pat Riley and didn’t want to play for him anymore.

3- Shaq always plays better for one year after he gets traded. Shit, he won a championship the year he was traded to the Heat, and the year after he was traded to the Lakers if I’m not mistaken.

4- We got rid of the locker room cancer that is Shawn Marion. He was causing such a divide in morale that getting him out of there and putting in a vet who can calm egos is huge.

5- We got rid of the albatross contract of Marcus Banks, who should have never been signed in the first place and is just taking up cap space on the team. He never played to his potential since he arrived, and wasn’t going to sniff any playing time. Fuck him, get rid of him.

6- If we get a championship, just one championship out of Shaq, then its all worth it. Right? I guess that’s the big if.

The question is now, can the Suns make it through with Shaq at about half of his already slow speed? I don’t think so personally. But I guess it is worth a shot, even if it means taking the biggest gamble in recent NBA history.

There is no middle ground in this trade, it’s a huge reward or a huge bust. Who knows, maybe Shaq comes to Phoenix with another chip on his shoulder and plays lights out. If that’s the case, then this trade was just the thing the Suns needed. If not, then it was one of the biggest gaffs in team history. Only time will tell. Until then, I can just beg God that Shaq loses 45 pounds. Please God?