Computer Design

I’m trying to design a website for my short movie. I have all these big nerdy internet dreams for the site. You log into www.tag.com and all this cool flash intro stuff happens and then the trailer for the movie starts and stills from the movie fly at you from all angles. BOOM! You’re instantly hooked into the world of my movie.

It seems like something that could happen, right? Then I realized, I don’t know how to program that, at all. Shit, I don’t even know that much about the internet.

I once took a month long course on internet design, and I learned how to make the lamest webpage of all time. But I came out of it thinking I knew how to program a website.

Boy was I wrong. I had no fucking idea how hard this shit was going to be.

There are so many steps, so many programs and companies and urls and crap... so much stuff I don’t know!

Crap, my awesome www.tag.com is taken... I guess I have to have www.tagshortfilm.com. Does that still sound cool? I hope so. That’s my new url.

After registering my site, I am hit with like 100 other ‘options’ that are optional but sound more like ‘mandatorys’ if I want my site to not suck. All of these options of course cost MONEY.

I need to have a hosting? What the fuck’s that mean? What, I need to have Ryan Seacrest introduce my site? (just kidding I know what this shit means, I did take a month long internet course of course.)

Then I research programs that help you build your site from scratch, Dreamweaver is like a 1,000 dollars. Ouch. Fuck that. I could pay someone else that much money to do it...

So I look for other companies to build the site. After researching this, I then realize that it will cost me a fortune to have a company build a site with all the cool flashy shit I want in it.

I find one company that will help out, internet solutions for less. I talk to EJ from the company who says I could pick from a 1,000 templates and use one to customize my site. But all of the templates are strange and don’t match up to what I want to do.

Damn. I’ve run out of options. If you go to my website and your not completely impressed, I’m sorry. I had to settle for something less than my nerdiest internet dreams.