Ten Things that are wrong with the world-

----At least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity…
-ALDOUS HUXLEY

Let me paraphrase the above quote- “The world is filled with stupid, mean people who make living harder.”

I’m surrounded by the stupidity, confused by the malice. It’s time I make a change. I offer you my list of ten things that are wrong with the world and quick solutions.



10- Reality TV. This one is pretty obvious. It’s dumbing down America, taking our attention spans and smashing them. It’s making celebrities of whores who only desire in life is to be famous.

I know I’m hypocritical for writing this, I worked on Survivor for Christ’s sake. But I never watched the show, even when I worked on it. And I did it for a paycheck, not for love of the content (I guess I’m the whore.)

Solution- Stop watching these programs. I know it’s hard, it’s like trying not to rubber neck when driving past a car accident. They’re so bad, that they’re almost good. Almost. But it’s the Lowest common denominator television, a step above watching a public execution. If you see “I Love New York 4” pop on your channel guide, don’t click on it. Watch the History channel or rent a movie you morons.



9-“Celebetards”- This one is almost an extension of number 10 with a catch. Everyone is so obsessed with what Britney, her sister, her friends and every other slut is doing. What is Brad and Angelina doing? How dare Jennifer Love Hewitt have thunder thighs? Is the High School Musical chick really naked? (I have to admit, I was curious about this one) The worst one- What are the chicks from the Hills doing? (who the fuck are these people? Honestly!)

They’re just people, same as you and me; but prettier, wealthier, and have paparazzi following them at all hours of the day.

I’m sorry, these people aren’t important to our lives. Do we really need to know all this shit about them to make our lives better? Fuck no. If America took half of the time it does following these celebrity retards and instead did charity work, we would be in some sort of utopia right now.

Solution- Simple. Stop fucking following these people’s actions! Stop pseudo stalking them by looking at Perez Hilton! Stop purchasing Us magazine! Stop making these people’s lives seem more important than everyone else’s!



8- Fatty Fast Food- I love fast food. Love it. Eat it once a day if I can, just because I’m strapped for time.

But what the fuck, why hasn’t someone come out with a fast food restaurant filled with healthy, low fat food that’s cheap and easy? And I’m not talking about Subway, fuck that shit up its stupid ass.

There are tons of people that are on ‘diets’, why not make a restaurant to caters to this market?

Solution- Another simple one, make a fucking healthy fast food chain. Am I going to have to be the one to quit my position and do this? Come on Mr. McDonald’s, you’ve got more money than God. Give me a place called “Healthsmart” or some gay name like that and make it healthy, tasty and fast!

Which leads me to my next topic…



7- Fat people- And I don’t mean people slightly over weight, that’s fine and in fact I encourage it. Fuck our society body issues and views of what is good looking. Have a little fat, its sexy to me.

The people I’m talking about are the seriously obese people who eat all the time. I understand gland problems, I get that. But saying you have a gland problem and then eating 5 Big Macs and fries isn’t a gland problem, it’s a fucking eating problem.

We have two super fat people at where I work. They look so uncomfortable and sad all the time, heavy breathing and lumbering down the hall. And I’ve seen both of them eat, fuck me, they gorge themselves.

Solution- Round up all super fat people and kill them. Just kidding. Another easy one, eat portions like the rest of us you fat assholes. I’m not saying quit cold turkey, but cut back a whopper every time you eat.



6- Over produced music- I just heard the new Janet Jackson single. Ouch. Fuck, what the hell happened?

Sometime in the last 8 years, pop music decided that it needed to sanitize everything, make every song sound alike, treat everyone’s voice with tons of studio magic, (aka pitch and tone shifting to make everything perfect) and not try anything new.

Plus, no one plays instruments anymore. Its drum machines and programs, that’s not talent!

Someone needs to come along and hit America in the face with some good hard core music. Nirvana comes to mind. Just when music was at an all time low, grunge hit and made popular music good again.

Solution- Give me enough money and time to make a good album with people who are good at what they do. Then give me some more money to make more music like this. Repeat until we wipe out the rest of the bullshit.




5- Video game addicts- My brother used to be one, I know several others. People that would rather play 65 hours of video games a week than interact with the real world. I understand the appeal of videogames, they give you a chance to do things that you couldn’t possibly do in real life without consequence, like shoot cops. But have some moderation people! Try mixing in some exercise. Or maybe make a friend or two.

Solution- This one is a toughie. How the hell do you convince an entire generation of kids to put down their controllers? Give them incentives and goals like in video games but push the ‘real life’ aspect of it. If you get a real job, you can have real money. If you play real sports, you can get real life health. If you get a real girlfriend, you can get real laid.



4- The term metrosexual- If I want to dress nice, I’m either gay or a ‘metrosexual’. Fuck you. I’m not trying to dress gay, I’m trying to dress not homeless. When did looking nice become a strictly gay thing? And metrosexual is the worst word of all time, it implies that you are gay for looking nice. Again a hearty fuck you.

You don’t see people who work business jobs saying to each other, “Man, you look gay in that suit.” No, they don’t even notice because you are supposed to look nice. Can’t we adopt that policy throughout the rest of the world?

Solution- Stop saying metrosexual! Wipe that shit from the vernacular. Tell someone they look nice and thank them for having enough self respect to take care of themselves.



3- Text messages and IM- This type of communication is fine for quick notes but is the absolute worst for trying to convey any feelings or emotions.

I’m sure all of us have had a fight or argument through these communication means before. Sucks right? Everything is taken out of context, or read wrong, there are no ways of expressing nonverbal communication. If you’re joking, you’re in trouble. People will read that the wrong way every time.

Solution- If you have something serious to talk about, call someone or meet them. Simple I know but everyone gets caught in this bullshit and then things that are written are held over your head for the rest of time, since written word is recalled better than spoken ones for some reason. If someone tries to engage you in a fight by these means, tell them to stop and try again when they can physically speak.



2- Creativity- I used to think America ran out of good ideas. I’m wrong. Yet again.

We aren’t out of creativity, we’re afraid of taking risks. We’re afraid of trying anything new. We’re afraid of failing.

It’s everywhere. Movie studios won’t make movies unless they have a built in audience from an existing property; ie TV show, toy line or remake of an existing movie. Music companies won’t sign acts that they don’t know how to market, they need to have a band that has a sound that’s close to a proven commodity already out there. TV shows don’t come out unless they have a tried and true formula.

The trickle down effect is that artists now cater to these companies and dumb down their material to try to make sure that they make money to eat.

Solution- Take a chance. Please super mega conglomerate companies. Just try something new out and see if we like it. If we don’t, it’s a small blip on your financial forecast. Artists, keep your voices and push the limits.



1-Anger- Everyone seems angry all the time. I know I fall victim to it. But it’s the reason why all of our problems exist.

We get angry at every inconvenience, slight or problem we have. People slam on their horns constantly in traffic. People yell at customer service people who are just trying to do their job. People want to punch out people they have never met because they accidentally bumped into them.

Solution- Relax. Take a deep breath. Take a step back. Doesn’t that feel better? Everything isn’t so bad after all. If everyone would just relax and not take things so personally, the world would be a much better place.

So there it is, my top ten list of things to do to make this world better. I hope that you will help me in my endeavor.