Everyone I’ve been talking to is upset, bored and depressed. For the first time in six months, I’m really happy. Why? I’m not sure. I think the break changed my outlook on things.
Plus, I’m excited about the new opportunities and things to do to in the New Year. Here’s a list of ten new things to do during the New Year.
10- Steal something. Doesn’t have to be much but steal something. Perhaps a candy bar from a store. Or maybe some jewelry from a house. Or maybe a couple hundred million dollars from investors. After you do steal something, you’ll get this great feeling that you are sticking to the man or something. Such a rush!
9- See a play. When was the last time you saw a play you lazy bastard? There are so many great actors tolling away out there and you just ignore them. Shame on you.
8- Go whale watching. I’ve never done this myself (unless you count looking at whales pass by the cruise boat) but it sounds pretty rad right? Whales are beautiful, the open sea is fun, and you might get sea sick, which is always fun.
7- Have an all you can eat contest. Take a bunch of your friends to a buffet and see who can eat the most food in one sitting. It’s fucking funny as shit to do and plus, you get to feel sick for the rest of the day, which is always fun. Plus you can fall into a food coma like after Thanksgiving.
6- Pick a fight with someone. Find someone you don’t really like and pick a fight with them. It doesn’t have to be a fist fight but that might help. Tell them exactly how you feel and let ‘em have it. It’s a great stress reliever.
5- Play on a playground. Find a great playground (not one at McDonald’s, the kids pee in the ball pits, but that would work also) and let loose. Ride the slide. Climb the monkey bars. Swing. Do all the things you used to do but don’t have recess now to do.
4- Help out an old lady. Preferably who would like help. Running up to random ladies and trying to help them may freak them out. But then again, that might also be a lot of fun. Scratch 'help out' and put 'freak out'.
3- Paint something. Make a crappy abstract painting and say its your master work. People will love the painting and tell you that you’re a genius. It works for me all the time!
2- Try out a new music style. Go to a concert or buy a CD or itunes of someone you have never heard of. If it sucks, ah well. But if its good, you have a new band to listen to. Good times.
1-Get drunk before noon. On a random Sunday morning, wake up and do a bunch of shots and drink some beers. Doesn’t matter if you‘re by yourself or with some friends, just get shitfaced. Laugh a ton. Go to the grocery store and slur your speech. Make a fool of yourself. Pass out at one PM and dream nice drunk dreams.
If you try these ten things, hopefully you’ll get out of the doldrums. If not, try drugs. That seems to work.
1 comment:
I would also add: talking your roommate into going to the grocery store without any pants on. It's fun to see how long it takes for them to get thrown out, and how many old ladies get super freaked out.
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