Top Ten Old People you would have sex with

If you had to sleep with a current old person, perhaps someone famous, who would it be.? I recently asked this question to a few friends and we got some really strange responses.

Here’s the list of top ten old people you would have sex with if you had to fuck an old person. (there are five men and five ladies, making this a bi sexual list...)



10- Ali McGraw- (70) I’ve always had a thing for this chick, every since I saw Love Story and the Getaway. She used to look like Kate Mara looks now. How does she look now? I’m not sure. But man she used to be hot and she’s still alive.



9- Harrison Ford- (66) The girl from down the hall at work loves this dude. What’s not to love, he’s been two of the most memorable characters of all time, Han Solo and Joe Gavilan from Hollywood Homicide. My friend Taryn disagrees, her direct quote “I can’t date someone who wears a gay ass ear ring.” I can understand that, he’s old enough to collect Social Security, he doesn’t need an ear ring. But apparently Taryn can date someone who has a gay ass lip piercing (inside joke at Dayn’s expense)

Also, Harrison Ford gets crazy stoned... bonus points... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nubw-MjUffA



8- Diane Lane- (43) Ok she’s not old. In all actuality, she’s only 43. 43! But every time you mention her to a guy, they’re like, “I’d bag that old ass.” Dude, she’s not that old! Why does every guy think she’s so old? I thought I would include her to make a point. She may look old, but she could be much older. Plus, she seems to be topless and getting screwed in all her movies. Good times.



7- Anderson Cooper (41) Here’s the male equivelent to Diane Lane. Chicks love this dude and think he’s old. Just because he has gray hair chicks think he’s much older and much hotter than he really is. Is that all it takes, is a little gray hair? That’s cool, I’ve got graying thin hair, I look ten years older than I am too! Love me please! Plus my girl says that this dude is gay. Sorry ladies.



6- Jane Fonda- (71) This one is for my boy Adam Bradley. He pointed her out and I have to agree, she’s still got it. I’ve never really thought she was that hot but man she takes care of herself to this day. And who doesn’t want to fuck Barbarella?



5- Sean Connery- (78) Another old ass dude who played some pretty big roles( what girl doesn't want to fuck James Bond?). Women always find him sexy. I hear he’s kind of a dick, but whatever, women love assholes. Strange to think that he was cast at Harrison’s father in Indiana Jones, yet he’s only 12 years older. Hmmmmm.



4- Audrey Hepburn- (dead, she would be 79) I’ve always had a thing for this girl. She’s so cute. Too cute... so cute it makes my penis confused... she’s like a telli tubby mixed with a porn star. But alas, she’s dead. Now I can only jerk off to her corpse (just kidding, you can get worms from doing that). But look at the picture above from 1991, she took care of herself and even looked good in old age!



3- George Clooney- (47) Again not that old but chicks think he’s super hot. And I respect him, so I have to put him on this list. Maybe I should have put Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood on this list, they’re much older... hmmmm.



2- Ingrid Bergman- (also dead, she would be 93) Being such a huge Casablanca fan, I couldn’t leave her off the list. But of course, when I went to look up her age, she’s dead, died when I was four years old. Shit, I guess this list is turning into dead old chicks I would bang. Shit. I should have put Cleopatra on here.



1- Michelle Pfeiffer- (50) Man, she’s 50? She’s the best looking 50 year old that I can remember shit. I was never a big Pfeiffer fan, I never had a boner for this chick before. But looking at her at the premiere of the 2007 shitty film Stardust, damn. I’m impressed. I did think she was pretty hot in Scarface, shit you could bang her while listening to ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ for comic relief. That would be pretty hot.

So that was only four guys and six girls... ‘you lied to us J!’ Well, I can’t end the list with a guy, that would be gay. Secondly, I can’t have too many dead women on the list, it makes me look like a necro. Third, it’s my list, I can break my own rules.

Others who didn’t make the list- Cindy Crawford, Diane Keaton, the chick from Married with Children, Debra Winger, Dolly Parton (who looks like she’s 18 year old robot now from too much plastic surgery), Lynda Carter and Estelle Getty.