Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Top ten super powers

Have you ever wanted to blow up your roommate with your explosive powers? Have you ever wished that you could fly? Have you ever wished that you had X-ray vision so that you can see in girl’s clothes?

I have.

Here’s my list of the top ten super powers I wish I had.

10- Shapeshifting- How awesome would it be to turn into anything you can imagine? You could turn into your friends parents and scare the shit out them. Or better yet you could turn into Jessica Alba and pretend to be interested in your friends, only to pull the rug out from underneath them. Wait, is that gay? Maybe, but it would be funny as shit.

9- Duplication- Can you imagine if you could make 15 copies of yourself? You’d never have to do all the bullshit work, you could sit back and watch as your duplicates do all the work for you!

8- Invisibility- This one is obvious. You can look at hot chicks as they shower, they would have no idea. Also, you could sneak into any concert, club or sporting event, not to mention bank vaults.

7- ESP- Super mental powers. The ability to read other peoples thoughts. This one seems like a no brainer (te he I made a dumb funny). If I could read people’s thoughts, I would probably obsess over what people thought of me. Maybe this one won’t be so good after all.

6- X ray vision- More hot chick reasons with this one.

5- Precognition- the ability to see the future. This one might also be a little scary, especially if you saw when the world ends or what your future ugly ass kids look like.

4- Teleportation- No more traffic! Think about the possibilities. And fuck that Jumper movie, that whole thing should be about Hayden Christiansen being able to get to work on time.

3- Superhuman strength- It would be awesome to be my size, walk into Gold’s Gym and out lift every mutha funka in there. Imagine me on the World’s Strongest Man competition!

2- Superhuman intelligence- I would love to be the smartest person in the world. How awesome would watching Jeopardy be? Think about all things you could invent! Man, I’m such a nerd, I’m writing a blog about superpowers and I am super excited about the ability to be smart. Hmmmmm.... I’ll now retire to watch Harry Potter movies and work on my World of Warcraft (two things I don’t like, I swear!)

1- Superhuman reflexes- There, that’s better. A super power everyone can relate to. This super power would be used not for fighting crime or helping society of course, it would be used in sports. If I had superhuman reflexes, I’d be the sickest baseball player ever. You’re not getting that fast ball past me, I’m going to slap that crap all over the infield with deadly accuracy.

There you have it, a nerdy list of super powers. Now, I’ll retire to read more X-Men comic books.


Fight4Kills said...

I can think of many flaws with some of these powers. Example 1: Duplication: If you duplicated yourself, none of your other selves would ever want to do any of the work either. 2: ESP: I imagine that a lot of people think of some pretty crazy things, also what if you couldn't control it and you heard everyone all of the time? Plus people would hate you for invasion of their privacy. 3: XRay vision: What if you accidentally use it while looking at grandparents, etc. 4: Intelligence: There is a lot of knowledge to be known in the world, and much of it isn't pretty. You would know all about every war ever, all the people who died, all of the negative images, etc. But of those there are some that I could relate to, and additional ones, such as teleportation. I have often contemplated what if one could go wherever he wished at any one time. It would be awesome, but f going to work with it, you can live your whole life by teleporting and getting what you need. But what could be better is if in addition you were also indestructible, not the wolverine kind of "indestructible" f that. I want the kind where nothing can touch me and I don't feel anything. But I would still be mortal, because I don't think I could know a worse hell than to live forever. It would also give you freedom to do stuff without consequence. You want to try jumping off a cliff for fun? Go for it! Nice post by the way.

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