My mother and father both were working at the time... or my mom was working and my dad was getting drunk someplace else. We had a baby sitter who would take care of my brother and I.
We were sitting outside on the patio with my babysitter when the phone rang. She went inside and upstairs to answer it.
A little background is needed here. My two-year-old brother had a very serious Cheerios addiction. The kid wouldn't eat shit but Cheerios for every meal. You could see him dragging around a huge box of the those O's everywhere he went, even though the box wasn't too big for him to handle. It would be like me dragging around my new fridge.
On the lake, we had an infestation of ducks. Ducks were everywhere, all the time. They weren't the cute ducks you see on Ducktales. No no, these ducks were mean spirited at best. These fucking ducks were like the Crips and Bloods of the fowl family. They would follow you, harass you, and bite your ankles.
One duck took a shine to my brother and was following him around. To get rid of the duck, my brother threw a Cheerio at him, which the duck promptly ate. But just like one Cheerio wasn't enough for young Seany, it certainly wasn't enough for Sonny Corelone the duck.
He ran/half flew forward, his razor sharp bill ready to pierce my young brother's heart. Sean threw a couple more Cheerios at him mid flight, stopping his advances.
Big mistake. By this time, the entire Gambino family of ducks had 'made' what has happened. Feeding time.
A flock of ducks flew at Seany. Not knowing what to do, Seany ran inside the large sliding door on the first floor. The only problem, all of the ducks followed him inside.
Seany threw the box of Cheerios all over the floor and hid under the table. The ducks had a feeding and pooping frenzy, the once clean bottom floor of our home now looked like a pigeon coop. 100's of ducks, shitting, eating, tearing apart furniture, fucking each other. It was an orgy of ducks.
The babysitter came downstairs to see what the fuss was. Man, I can't even imagine what must have run through her mind. "How do I explain this? What do I do to cover this up?"
None of those thoughts would matter. My mom got out of work early that day to walk in seconds after the babysitter saw the damage.
They both stood there in horror as my brother cowered under the table crying, ducks flying around shitting on my mom's antiques.
Needless to say, that babysitter never worked with us again. I think it was a mutual decision by both my mom and the babysitter.
Whenever I see Cheerios now, I think of those ducks chasing my poor brother. Gotta love ducks.
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