Sunday, September 30, 2007

I Love the Lions... today

Today was a really good day. I love the Lions. I love being drunk.

I went to the bar to watch the Detroit Lions take on the Bears, hope that the Lions have a miracle and squeek out a win. Or at least not lose by a million like they did last week. Little did I know the the Lion would kick the Bears in the teeth.

A little pre-story to the story is needed. I went to my girlfriend's bar to watch the Lions and show patronage to my girl. Well, when I walk up to her bar they were charging a $20 dollar cover. 20 bucks. 20 fucking bucks. To watch TV. I guess there was a buffet but what if I don't want buffet. What if I want to spend 100 dollar on liqour instead? Fuck Hollywood Billards.

Dayn Mike and I go to Big Wangs instead. Yes this place is called Big Wangs and isn't a gay bay. It was packed with many many fans, I'd say about 90% of the entire bar were wearing Bears jerseys. Girls were wearing freaking Hester jerseys for crissssssake. God I hate the Bears.

We sit down and immediately get into an argument with 15 Chicago fans. The three of us are severly outnumbered. We order pitchers of beer and settle in. I say a prayer, "Please don't the Lions get killed. Please, make it at least interesting so I don't have to hear this guy tell me how much the Lions finger asshole like a West Hollywood speedbag.

I have a problem. I talk shit. A lot of shit. Too anyone. Anywhere. Out numbered or not.

And I wasn't about to back down to today. I had some liquid courage in me, fuck not talking shit!

After a couple pitchers and half time, I honestly thought we were winning. We were down 7 to 3 but I felt like if they didn't have some bullshit calls like the terrible fumble review call when we were in the red zone, we'd be up. I told this to our surrounding hecklers, they thought I was wasted.

It might have been that we were outplaying them or that I was drunk. Either one really.

The Chicago fans were like Mogwais who get hit with water, POP POP POP, they duplicated around me.

The second half, it was Dayn, Mike, myself and these two random Lions fans. They followed my big mouth lead and yelled at these other Bears fans also. Big them up because they have nuts to yell at angry black Bears fans without fear of retalitation.

Fourth quarter, it was hairy. After eating boneless buffalo wings, a quesadilla and a sampler with the gang and drinking about 7 beers, it was time for the dramatics. Talk about a back and forth game... I honestly didn't think we were going to win. Devin Hester returned one on our heads, the entire Bears group attacked me. I held me head in my hands and didn't look up, I was afraid I might get stuck in the head with a fork.

But suddenly, we started winning again. And then got a bigger lead, and then scored again. Before I knew it, the Lions set a record for the most points scored int he fourth quarter in NFL history.

We win and take some blue shots of 151 and blue carocoa (spelling? I'm drunk) and bid our new Lions fans Bon Voyage. We give some hugs to the Bears fans that were real fans, not the bandwagons like the girl in the brand new Hester jersey.

I walk down the street feeling like the Lions just won the Super Bowl. It was their Super Bowl. Just to shut up those band wagon Bears fan, it was worth a Super Bowl to me. The Lions have sucked for so long, I needed this.

Now, I just need to hope that in month when we play the Bears again that they don't have the $20 cover at Hollywood Billiards. I don't want to go back to Big Wangs when we get our asses kicked in Chicago and I have to hear it from all the people I talked shit too. Fuck the Bears and their fans.

3 comments:

Will said...

Obviously, not a great day for Bears fans. For many years, we could always count on beating up on the Lions. Now, we get killed late in the game by the Cowboys and Lions. Well, at least the bandwagon will get a bit less crowded I guess...

Unknown said...

You better not have been flirting with that brand new jersey girl. You've got a cute waitress girlfriend at a going-out-of-business-bar who would be jealous.

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