Greatest Movie Ever

I'm going to give you a movie that I bet would get greenlight by some studio tomorrow (if tomorrow was 1986).

The Ultimate Action Movie- "Die or I'll Kill you"

John Woo (fresh off of making Hard Boiled) directs

Michael Mann (fresh off of making 'Heat') writes

Jerry Bruckheimer (fresh off of Top Gun) produces

Michael Dudikoff (of American Ninja fame) stars as a rogue secret agent with Martial Arts skills learned from an old master...

who teams up with...

Eddie Murphy (fresh off Beverly Hills Cop) a fast talking street wise small con hustler...

who must take down a 1980's sleeper cell of terrorists (with no true shared nationality) led by...

Alan Rickman (fresh off of Die Hard, "where are my det-a-nat-ors?!")

and Gary Oldman (fresh off of Professional/Leon)...

who plot to kidnap...

President Louis Gossett Jr. (who is a retired Air Force Colonel) and his vice president's daughter Alyssa Milano (fresh off of Commando)...

And brainwash the president...

so he will give up the computer passwords to nuclear ICBM's (I know a stretch, but this is freakin' Bruckheimer!)...

to start a war against a communist Russia causing nuclear winter to cover the world!!!!! ahahahahahahahahaha (insert Oldman and Rickman criminal laughter here)

(side note- Why do they want to do create Nuclear Winter? I don't know. Maybe they own a product that can clean up nuclear winter errr... does it have to make sense if Bruckheimer is involved?)

Dudikoff and Murphy run through a serious of elaborate traps and action set pieces (while Murphy cracks bad jokes) to find that their only way to stop the terrorists is to enlist the help of Dudikoff's estranged ex wife-

Sean Young (fresh off of Blade Runner) who knows 80's computers like Murphy knows witty one liners.

After stopping the possible computer nuclear threat (using War Games like computer lameness)...

Murphy and Dudikoff must break into a huge mansion covered with tons of bad movie goons and douches (led by Bolo Yeung fresh off of Bloodsport and Brian Thompson fresh off of Cobra) to set up the final battle...

in an elaborate action set piece that takes place in an completely functional steel work plant inside the mansion (of course this happens, it has to)...

Before the showdown starts...

Oldman admits to Murphy that he was the person who killed his mother and made him a orphan and forced him into his life of petty crime and...

Rickman admits to Dudikoff that he killed his kung fu master...

Extracting revenge, Murphy and Dudikoff kill Oldman and Rickman (in elaborate deaths involving melting steel or a conveyor belt)

but...

Oldman hits a self destruct button on the mansion as he dies and a ticking clock goes off...

They must get Milano and Chappy, err, I mean the President out alive... but how?!?!?!?! They have an Apache helicopter but who will fly it?

The president hops in the pilot's seat and flies the good guys in to safety as the mansion explodes!

Dudikoff gets together with Sean Young, patching up their problems. Murphy gets a job as a secret service agent, ending his career as a con artist. His first assignment? Taking a wise cracking Alyssa Milano to school. The End. Roll duet song by Bryan Adams and Kenny Loggins.

Best...Movie...Ever.