House

When I was a kid; my brother, my best friend growing up Monica and I would play house often.

You know the game ‘house’; you pretend to go to work, come home and then climb in bed with the girl you are playing with. Fun times, I wish adults played house. I guess they do, they just call it ‘real life’.

Anyone, on that fateful day, Monica propositioned to my brother, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

My jaw hit the floor, that’s a great idea. Why didn’t I think of that on my own!?!?! Finally I would get to see what I was confused about since the first time I accidentally walked in on my mom getting dressed for work. Why didn’t girls have a stick thingy, where was it? Did they tuck it away? Was it smaller or something?

My brother didn’t want to do it but I used a device kids sometimes employ called peer pressure. He hesitatingly pulled down his pants and showed his little wiener to her.

Formalities out of the way, onto step two! The anticipation was building. Monica took one look at my brother’s penis, gave a little “Ehh” and walked away.

“Wait!” I begged her. “Where are you going? You have to hold up your end of the bargain!”

“Nope, it wasn’t worth it,” she replied.

Ouch. Burn. My brother has never lived this story down and never will.