Suns Preview

I got punched in the stomach last summer. A couple times. It hurt harder than any other punches I’d taken before, like the Hulk and Superman both nailed me in the gut at the same time.

No, I wasn’t in a fight, not in the literal way. I was punched in the stomach by the NBA.

My Phoenix Suns were cheated…no no cheated isn’t a strong enough word. They were fucked out of the chance at a title by a series of unfortunate events, and Limney Snickets wasn’t involved.

If you don’t know what I am referring to, hate the NBA or don’t give a crap, here’s a recap- the Suns played the eventual NBA champion San Antonio Spurs in the second round of the NBA playoffs and lost 4 games to 2 in a best of 7 series. Again, lose is probably the wrong word, they were fucked 4 games to 2 by bad ref-ing, dirty play and down right cheating.

In the first game Bruce Bowen cheap-shot-kicked Amare Stoudemire in the Achilles, which pissed me off so much I threw a remote at my TV. Steve Nash, the best point guard to grace the game since Magic Johnson, was head butted by Tony Parker and was forced out of the end of that game, causing the Suns to lose the home opener.

In the second game, Bowen kneed Nash in the nuts. This is nothing new for Bowen, just a fucking lifeless, gutless play by the worst excuse for a football player wearing a basketball player’s uniform.

In game four, Robert Horry threw Nash into the scorer’s table by the Suns bench for no fucking reason besides to piss off the Suns and try to get some to come off the bench. Well, of course Amare and Boris Diaw jumped up and tried to protect their leader.

The result, Amare and Diaw were suspended for game five, in which the Suns put in a nice performance but still lost. Thanks NBA for the dumbest rule of all time! If Amare and Boris were suspended for a game for standing up, then Horry should be thrown out of the league for being a pussy basket.

After the Suns lost the series in game 6, I was permanently sick to my stomach. It only got worse when the NBA was hit with the Tim Donaghy gambling scandal. The same Tim Donaghy who ref-ed game three, where the Suns were given bad call after bad call and eventually lost by 7 points, the Spurs covered the four point spread. Coincidence?

I could go into the hundred of terrible calls from this game and the entire series and how the Suns were screwed but that would make this article 55 pages long.

Needless to say, I was pissed off all summer about this. Imagine how the Suns felt…

That’s why I am picking the Suns to win the championship this year. They might not have the biggest, baddest team but damn it, they are pissed off.

On paper, the Suns don’t look like they are a much better team than last year. They added Grant Hill and subtracted their only competent low post defender Kurt Thomas. Not the grandest trade off, Hill should help the team when Steve Nash has to hit the bench for a breather, he is a former superstar who knows how to play with his teammates well. No Kurt Thomas facing off against the Spurs and Tim Duncan in the post should make things even harder this year. Well, harder if they didn’t have a really super pissed off team.

The rest of the team is pretty much the same except for two rookies who probably won’t see the light of day from the end of the bench. But there are some hold-over players that are expected to make more on an impact than last year.

First, Boris Diaw, one year removed from the most improved player of the year award, should make some strides to becoming the player he once was (or better). With Amare coming back into the lineup last year after being hurt the season before, Diaw retreated and played hesitant and didn’t try very hard. All reports from training camp is that Diaw is in great shape (which he wasn’t last year after spending training camp eating nothing but French pastries) and playing aggressively, which has always been his weakest suit. If he tries harder, he can be the difference on the floor for the Suns. If not, he fades into the background.

Second, Marcus Banks has a look in his eyes this training camp. He’s starting to get it. After signing a big free agent contract, he sat on pine all year due to his shoot first attitude and not running the offense. But Steve Nash has taken him under his wing, as well as coaches, to try to get him more involved in the team plan and work on getting him minutes. In the preseason he looked golden, getting 22 minutes of playing time per game and a nice 9 ppg. He needs to get his assists up and keep up his tough defense and he’ll help out a ton.

The rest of the team is still amazing. Amare is a beast after his first All NBA selection coming off of microfracture surgery. He might be the best young big man since… I don’t know… Karl Malone? Moses Malone? Shawn Marion seems to be with it after asking for a trade this summer, he hasn’t made a peep since the Suns sat him down for a stern talking to. Nash is still Nash, he might just sneak out his third MVP trophy this season. Leandro Barbosa is a spark plug who provides speed and instant offense to this team. Raja Bell gives gritty heart, tough defense (should be on the NBA All Defensive team at the end of the year) and a good three point shot.

If the Suns play the Spurs in the playoffs, I expect the Suns to try a very cheap shot against Tim Duncan early on to show them that they mean business and won’t back down. I would send our biggest scrub Sean Marks to punch him in the face and then hit him with an ax in the leg, before the game starts. Just to let the Spurs know; you guys play dirty, we can play dirty too.

Hopefully the Suns will play through the adversity, say the hell with the Spurs, tell the NBA and commish David Stern to suck it and grind out a championship.

If they don’t, they will get punched by the Spurs yet again. I don’t want to get punched in the stomach again, please Suns. Give ‘em hell!